This is the time of year when most of us us become givers and if we are very lucky, we even receive. We can remember a childhood Christmas perhaps where we found the perfect gift under the tree.
I was lucky enough last night to find Michelle under the tree … her hubby lent her to me for the evening and even though it rained almost continuously, we still had great fun and got some decent Christmasy type pics.
I feel very lucky at times to have such special friends in my life that can turn a wet and miserable evening into a special and unforgettable moment. Michelle is one such friend … thank you, young lady!
I hope you like the little selection of pics at the end of this blog! Apart from the Christmas tree aspect in a couple of them. I loved the long exposure treatment of them that gave me some cool motion blurs on people that past by. See if you can see these ghosts!
Christmas happens to be my favorite time of year and not because of the giving or receiving, but I love how people suddenly become more friendly.
Part of this of course is mechanized friendliness as we experience an extension of the typical cashier “Have a nice day” at all the retail and restaurant places we happen to go.
But most of what we encounter is genuine … people feeling good within themselves to where they spontaneously give us a Happy Holidays greeting.
It has a warming effect on us when we experience a Happy Holidays moment from a stranger and it is also very contagious as suddenly we hear ourselves wishing the same to total strangers because they held a door open for us, or even perhaps just smiled as they handed us their cart in a parking lot.
Happy communications are one of the wonderful features of humanity. we have a huge selection of words, gestures and facial expressions that much of the animal kingdom doesn’t really have.
So my question (and the thought behind today’s blog) is “why do we reserve this aspect of who we are for just holiday moments?”
Why are we unable to carry this same feeling of caring and compassion throughout the year and into all of our interactions with humans and creatures alike?
I mean, I have even seen conservatives smile at people of color this time of year. But the rest of the year, they want to build walls and only let them in when it’s time to pick the strawberries.
Is it that we can only recognize fellow humans when they are wearing red and green and donning Santa hats? Perhaps that is what it is; our color blindness is triggered by reds and greens while browns and mochas don’t trigger our “this is a human” response.
It doesn’t take anything from us to be nice. We are not lessened by holding a door, giving a smile, or helping a stranger. In fact, we typically benefit from such an act and we experience reflected smiles and the inner warmth of having done something good.
I remember noting that one big difference when I moved to the US from Ireland. Growing up there, you acknowledged almost everyone you passed on the street with a smile, or “lovely morning isn’t it?”, or something similar. No one was treated like a stranger and doors were always held open.
But here we have built built bubbles around ourselves that separate us from “strangers”. We warn our children away from strangers, demonize those “rapist” immigrants, and only hold the door for good looking young women so we can check them out.
It is sad. Very sad.
Because being nice to our fellow travelers in life can genuinely enrich our own journey and make us better people. There is that saying in Ireland that a stranger is only a friend you haven’t yet met (or something like that) and it extols and openness that offers the possibility of a reflected benefit of future friendship.
Where and when did we lose that openness?
Wars and conflicts started the rot, Where everyone fought with god on their side and the enemy was demonized to the point of pure evil. Hence, the perpetual battle of good versus evil.
But in America we extended that into sport, where winning is the only option and where the opposition were simply losers . And now we have extended this into politics where we have allowed ourselves to be polarized into opposite camps where we demean those that don’t agree with us and bully them on twitter to the raucus applause of our base.
This is so sad and very difficult to recover from. And in truth it is up to our children to rescue us.
You see, they don’t see color the way we do. They are born without prejudice and unaware that they are supposed to fear strangers.
When the true shift in recognizing that all humans are equal needed to happen, it began with open teaching at a child level. Adults retained their bigotry but had to hide it away in the shadows.
And so once again humanity will rely on the next generation to save us from ourselves. A few good teachers will work to lay the foundations. a few good parents will grow the empathy for fellow man within their children, and a few good leaders will establish the guidelines and tear down walls.
I will be long gone by the time it all happens but I have every confidence that it will. One day, browns and mochas will be every bit as recognizable as reds and greens and people will extend their humanity outside of the holiday season.
Happy Holidays everyone!
