Davis Islands. It sounded like an exotic destination to watch the sun rise.
Other than the nearby Tampa General Hospital, I had never been to the place. But I looked it up online and it seemed to have promise inasmuch as it showed Davis Island Beach, pointing to the east over a body of water that offered reflections.
Furthermore it had the Davis Island Yacht Club, it’s own private little airport and was home to those on the wealthier side of life. So, I headed off in the darkness of the early hours, armed only with the Maps App in the phone and expectations aplenty.
Could I have landed any further from the truth?
The place was a miserable, little hole in nothingness. The yachts were a motley collection of unkept vessels and they were afloat on a water that gave slime a bad name.
And as for “beach” … are you kidding me? I have more sand on the floor mat of my car than any beach down there and it looked more like a dumping ground for broken concrete pieces. You know, the kind of rubble you see them take away by the truck load when they tear up a road.
In the interest of getting pics, I tried to step closer to the water a couple of times, but my feet slid in the slime and the rubble moved underfoot.
Cameras lie like a sailor and mine produced a few images that seem to portray a destination worth visiting. But trust me, this had more to do with magically framing the lens away from the real and producing images from nothing.
I have attached them at the end of the blog and I hope you enjoy.
I drove home frustrated and angry, wondering why they thought it was OK to promote something so untrue. I mean, seriously, how do you use the word “beach” to describe broken rubble of concrete?
And that is what formed the basis for my blog today.
You see, “misleading” is such a common aspect of human life these days, they might even make you president if you mislead enough.
There was a time when truth and honesty were qualities we were brought up to value, but not any more.
People who are good at it, will tell you that it isn’t lying exactly … it is more about spinning, creating an interpretation, shaping a viewpoint, etc etc.
Me, I may be old school, but I still think that whoever called this place Davis Island Beach is a fucking liar. Sorry.
Let’s call a spade a spade.
From the snake-oil salesmen selling cure-alls in the 1800’s, we have developed the art to where we educate young people on how to spin and we pat them on the back when they manage to pull off a good one.
We commonly use deliberate misnomers to sell things and places. “Eagle’s Landing” sounds more palpable than “warehouse properties” and “Westshore Village” sounds more homely that “tampa southside”.
We describe cabs and multi-passenger vans as “Limousines’ when picking up important people at the airport. Loose fitting clothes become “leisure wear” and Spandex pants become training wear. Amazon has a line of Women’s Active Sweatpants Workout Yoga Joggers (I kid you not) and given the shape that many of the wearers are in, I can pretty much guarantee these folk have never worked out nor jogged.
But it’s not just products and places, we mislead when we go to an interview. When the future employer asks what failings we might have, and we reply about how we are leaning towards being a workaholic … we just can’t get enough work.
Or we go on a first date with a padded bra (oh wait, sorry, push-ups), heavy mascara, eye shadow, lipstick, and enough foundation to make our face look like it has been airbrushed in photoshop.
Misleading has become second nature, to where today’s kids see that scene out of Best Little Whorehouse in Texas and see nothing funny about the preacher putting a rolled sock down the front of his pants before going on the stage.
We add weaves, fake nails, and padded underwear to “enhance our curves”.
What on earth happens when it all comes off on date night and you are standing there in your birthday suit and all your best parts are neatly folded on the chair in the corner?
A good lie is one that you can get away with. We all know that.
So conversely, when you are pitching something that isn’t real and it’s just a matter of time before everyone finds out you misled them … well, that is just stupid.
You call a pile of rubble a beach and sooner or later some old guy is going to see the truth and tell the world that you really are a fucking liar.
… just a thought.
