It was one of those mornings where you are determined to try something new but don’t know exactly what.
In my world that translates into a question of looking for a new place to set up my camera and being only 5 am and my need being a sunrise, my options are somewhat limited.
I furthermore normally look for a body of water for that kind of shoot. Because reflections are very important (to me anyway) in trying to enhance whatever the skies are doing above the horizon.
So that means I am always looking for a vantage point that looks east for sunrise and west for sunset.
East for sunrise in the Tampa area is somewhat limited as the natural body of water is the bay and that is to the west.
If it is a weekend, I am OK with driving across one of the bay bridges and shooting back from the St Pete side. But during the weekdays, if I do that, then I run into rush-hour traffic heading into Tampa after my shoot as I endeavor to get home.
So that means that lakes present my best option at these moments and Lake Parker is not just the closest, but it has a public road running almost its entire circumference, so my access to a viewpoint there is really quite good.
Lakeland is teeming is with lakes (hence the name) but access to many would mean I have to go into someone’s back yard, as homeowners control the shoreline when no road is present.
Breaking into someone’s back yard at 5 am (in fact, at any time) in Florida is quite likely to result in a shoot out. And it is quite difficult to take steady shots of a sunrise when there are bullets flying around your head.
I’ve actually been run off twice from lake fronts at sunset by property owners telling me they own this frontage and I need to move. So, I already know that Floridians are not the most friendly of people, even when their sleep hasn’t been interrupted by a weird old guy with a camera in their yard.
Anyway, all of this preamble was just to explain why I found myself back at Lake Parker early in the morning, camera in hand. But this time, instead of being on the east side or west side, I found a little boat-launch spot down on the very tip of the south shore.
I had never been there before and my hopes were that I could get enough water between me and the horizon to make the shots acceptable.
And I did. So, I was happy.
But only for a while.
You see, Mossy Kito and his entire family found me and even though I had sprayed myself with repellant, apparently none of them could read the label. So, they attacked me in swarms.
It was insane. There must have been hundreds and the flew at me from all sides. I moved and they moved. I ran and they ran. I swatted and they laughed.
One of them even flew up under my glasses and into my eye.
So, I retreated quickly to the car and drove away from there long before I had intended to. When I looked at the photos later, the last ten or so were so blurry (taken while running) that they resembled a scene from the Blair Witch Project.
Anyway, I have attached some of what I did manage to salvage at the end of this blog so I hope you enjoy!
As I drove away, defeated and angry, I wondered what on earth the purpose of a mosquito is. If you believe in creationism (and obviously I don’t) then their arrival on the planet was some some divine inspiration and definitely intended.
They have been around forever and apart from being in the food chain (for dragonflies, etc) they serve no purpose. They don’t pollinate. They don’t help break down waste.
No, apparently their only purpose is to chase weary old photographers from what would otherwise be a decent spot for taking a photo. I must have looked like a right lunatic; running through a parking lot in semi-darkness, carrying a tripod larger than me and flailing wildly with the other hand at an invisible enemy.
When the anger subsided I continued with my thought of “purpose” and began to self-examine.
And I decided that there really are two separate kinds of purpose for us all. I called them Purpose for Life and Purpose for Living.
They may sound like the same thing but in my mind I was able to justify the divide as follows:
Purpose for Life is something very identifiable and very tangible. Why was I born? What positive have I given the world that justifies my having been born into it.
I’ve known my answer to that one for years. It was quite easy for me. You see, I didn’t invent any cure to something, or bring more happiness than misery to those I encountered along the way. No, my purpose for life is simply put. My Girls.
I have been partly responsible for bringing two amazing talents into the world and the world is a better place for them. I won’t get into the why’s and wherefore’s but suffice to say they are both brilliant. They are my gift to the world. Enjoy.
So when any of us look for our purpose for life, we need to be able to identify something tangible that we have left behind in the world after we are gone.
A tiny percentage of people accomplish something obvious (like a cure) but for most of us, it is less dramatic. However, purpose for life doesn’t need to be dramatic. It only needs to be a net positive.
No one is grading us and giving my life a 7 out of 10 but the guy next door only a 6. It isn’t about that. There is no competition.
As long as your life is a net positive, that is all that matters. And I use the phrase “net positive” because if the negatives associated with you having been born outweigh the positive, then I’m sorry. But the world would have been better off without you.
So, the second purpose I mentioned is Purpose for Living. And unlike the former, this is a transient and changing aspect of our lives. Literally it just means, at any point in time is there a reason to go on living?
This is normally something that it is in the future or present (whereas purpose for life is often in the past as you grown older). It may be something you are doing or planning to do, someone you are with or planning on being with. Something like that.
At different points in life I have had different purposes for living and sometimes a few at the same time. So it isn’t a singular thing. We may be enjoying our career, madly in love with someone, and fully engaged in our favorite pasttime.
There may even be different levels to our purpose for living. Things that are seriously important to us while other things might be less important but nonetheless worth living for.
And that is the essential part of what I am trying to say, I guess. Purpose for living gives our present and future a value. A reason for hanging around. A reason for putting up with all the other stuff that makes life a misery at times.
Some people check out, when they lose their reason for living. Others just fall into a going-through-the-motions mode while they “wait for god”.
This past year after my marriage plans fell through and my little business descended into failure, my own purpose for living dwindled down to little more than the cats and a few responsibilities that I have to stay living for. So I can’t check out.
But suicide is painless (for any MASH lovers out there) so I understand why some people do. As my favorite lines from the song say “That game of life is hard to play, I’m gonna lose it anyway”.
So, it isn’t the living part that is important. It is the purpose for living. Without it we are aimless.
When our living is with purpose, we oftentimes take it for granted. Not even knowing why we are doing what we are doing. And that is altogether fine. We don’t need to over-analyze things.
But when living no longer has a purpose, we need to understand why and if there is something we can do about it, then we should. Some people suddenly find a new pastime, a new lover, a new career. They reinvent themselves for whatever portion of their life they have left. And they can find happiness therein.
No one can force you to do this. You have to want to do it. You have to want to have a purpose for the rest of your living. And if you don’t want to, then your happiness factor is going to be dramatically reduced until the Grim Reaper pays you a visit.
And he doesn’t seem like the happiest of characters…. just a thought.
