It was somewhere around 2 am when Rocky decided I needed to be awake, so he began putting his paw on my face and incessantly purring. I remember giving a half-baked stroke on his back and essentially trying to ignore him.
But by the time, my first text of the day came in at 4:30 (a dear friend telling me her baby just had kittens), I was already well-awake.
It wasn’t exactly how I had planned to begin my work week, so I lay there with my eyes mostly closed in absolute refusal to acknowledge the presence of another Monday.
By the time 5:15 had happened, Rocky was in Marcy’s room with fresh food and water, Marcy in the living room and Marty out on the deck. They had fresh food but no one was really where they wanted to be. But for now, that is all I could come up with.
Moments later, I was downstairs giving breakfast to Coco, Lola, Daisy, Tetsuo, Everest, Lincoln, Beauty, and Fluffy (our latest stray). Chaos reigned and I stood there in the darkness listening to the chomping sounds of eight little cats and kittens.
I checked my phone and it said sunrise would be at 6:49, so I had time to set off for the lake, camera in hand. So, I made a coffee and that is exactly what I did.
Left the chaos and as the first sip of caffeine entered my system, I was leaving the driveway and the day was starting to come into focus.
Fast forward to 6:49 and if the sun did break the horizon, I cannot attest to it. The skies were engulfed in thick grey cloud and there was barely a hint of light anywhere that I could see.
And this is what I traded breakfast for? How disappointing.
The cup of coffee that I had brought with me was pretty much gone by this stage and with the added joy of mosquitoes buzzing too close for comfort, I decided to retreat to the comfort of the car and call this a day.
And so as I drove home, I mused about how so many trades in life tend not to pan out.
I mean, we continually trade things for something else on a daily basis always on the assumption that what we are trading for is better than what we have. Yet in all truth, so many are not.
I mean, Rocky desperately wanted out of my bedroom and raced in to Marcy’s room only to find that she wasn’t there and now he is stuck there for a few hours.
Marcy eagerly wanted out of Rocky’s room and ran downstairs to the living room, but there is no one to play with, so she too is disappointed.
And Marty wanted out of Marcy’s room, only to find himself out on the deck now when he would much rather be inside.
Dissatisfaction is a motivator in many ways and it propels us forward in unknown directions. We make a “move” decision based on our reading of our current position and weigh it against the possibility of something different.
But there is a reason why “the grass is always greener on the other side” is such a well-worn phrase.
Being content is not the same as being stagnant and there is a peace that comes with it that can in its own way be very fulfilling.
Not every movement is forward and not every change is for the good.
But our nature is such that we routinely take for granted whatever we have and imagine or even crave for something different.
We make our “change” decisions based upon flawed hope rather than logic and find ourselves regretting the decision, more often than not.
The Declaration of Independence gives us the right of the pursuit of happiness, so we are very much entitled to do so. But too much focus is on the pursuit and less so the happiness.
We might well already have found happiness in the comfort of our pillow and the darkness of our room.
I should have stayed in bed.
… just a thought.