Ulterior Motives

I had begun to mess a little with drops of glass on water the previous day and though I wasn’t happy with what I had achieved (this one was the best of them, for example) it gave me some further ideas to try.

So, safe in the knowledge that last night would deliver a clear-sky sunset, I took myself off to the far shore on Lake Parker to experiment a little further.

To all casual observers they would have thought I was going to photograph the sunset but in reality I wanted to explore how light from behind would interact with drops of water on a glass sheet and how focus would affect the resulting images.

I took with me a glass picture frame, water bottle, some clips, and a baking brush and I have included a setup picture in the little collection at the end of the blog.

I was fundamentally pleased with the end shots but there were limitations that I couldn’t get over that stopped me getting some of the shots that I wanted.

For example, I could only rest the glass frame on the ground, which really limited the scope of different heights and positions that I would have liked to have tried, Also, being on my own, I was limited to the drops that stayed on the glass and would have much preferred running drops that were being applied by a second person. And the broken wrist didn’t help much either, as it limited my ability to move myself around as much as I would have.

But still, some of the images came out well and I hope you enjoy. I even added a couple of normal sunset shots for you OCD purists, for whom the drops are an obstacle to your enjoyment lol

As I walked back to the car, a guy who was fishing nearby commented on the lovely sunset and as I drove home, I mused over how appearances can be deceiving sometimes and specifically how we can deliberately mislead others while having an ulterior motive.

Mine last night was completely innocent and irrelevant to the observer. No one was interested that it was actually water drops that I was shooting.

But what about those moments when we set out to mislead for deliberate and nefarious reasons.

The biggest and most current instance in the spotlight at the moment is the Dotard and the RNC claiming that the election was stolen and inciting huge distrust in the whole democracy we live in. Their objectives have actually nothing to do with the fact that they lost the election and everything to do with the money they are raising on the back of the claims. Hundreds of millions are being raised and the simple minded folk that are contributing, have no idea what their money is being used for.

But the use of trickery to cover up ulterior motives extends way beyond politics and affects almost all walks of our lives.

Forthrighteousness was once seen as an admirable quality in a person but now, the value of a poker face is extolled to much higher value.

Honesty and sincerity were seen as a guiding principle by which most people did things. But over time, the ability to feign interest or fake an activity has been seen to propel people to the top of society.

From the moment a mommy tastes a spoon of baby food and declares it to be so yummy, toddlers the world over have been introduced to the whole notion of deception for an ulterior motive. Mommy’s interest is clearing in delivering food that she knows to be good for her baby, rather than something laden with sugar that would taste better. So, the ulterior motive isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

And when the teenage boy tells his new girlfriend that he would love to see the latest chic-flick paying at the movie theater, or read her some of his favorite poetry, the motive still hasn’t taken on an evil undertone, but clearly his intent is getting into her pants.

By the time we hit later years, we learn many ways to disguise our intent. From being the last one to leave the office to commenting on how wonderful the boss’s outfit is, we establish a game plan in which honestly has little or no role in it.

In the outer world, the damage done by ulterior motives is normally only surface deep, or at the very least not long lasting. Politicians get seen for the liars they are and employees get seen as the brown-nosers they are, and yes, Debbie eventually realizes that Johnny only wanted to get into her pants when he charmed her with his verses of Yeats.

But, where it completely falls apart is in our inner world.

This is the world where we live with our partner and our loved ones.

Ulterior motives have no play in this environment and if they leak in, then irreparable damage can be done. Honesty is a cornerstone upon which love and relationships are built. Doing or saying anything for a motive other than an honestly declared purpose will undo trust and reduce relationships to rubble.

Being able to state your purpose and honestly show your feelings is a main ingredient in pulling off a long term relationship.

“Well actually, I’ve always hated your mother, thought you were too fat in that suit, felt that 10 seconds was too short for foreplay”. These are not good facts to release at a later stage in any relationship.

We may indeed have not wanted to rock the boat, but that motive is never acceptable as an answer when we are finally confronted with such issues.

And, I think the point I am trying to get to here is that few people can operate separate principles in their outer world and their inner world. Eventually behaviors leak from one to the other.

And if that behavior involves bringing hidden motives that you have been successful with in your business or social life, into your private life … well then, you are heading down a one way street to Palookaville.

I’ve always wanted to use that phrase. For a moment, I felt like Jimmy Cagney, there.

I try to be as forthright as I can and I know it loses me certain things and certain people, along the way. But better to lose them up front and be honest with your self, than later be found out to have been a fake and still lose them anyway!

… just a thought.